This is not the first time I am complaining on my blog, I just have to anyway.
so this is what happened.
I went to buy beverage to drink tea, the weather is cold and I really needed it. So on getting to the shop, with my earphone on, smiling and responding to messages in a whatsapp group chat I belong to, I saw this guy I usually see on my street, He always smiled at me in some way, and before we started talking to each other, I mean just ordinary greeting, he would always stop me to say Hello.
|Blogger., Joel Williams|
Until On evening, I havent been seeing him and the day I did, I asked, “Hey whatsup (I dont even know his name), I havent been seeing you, what happened?” and the first thing he said was, “Ahn ahn! Am I your girlfriend?” I was taken aback, I sure know I have never given him so much closeness to make him say such, and that even if he wasnt my girlfriend (his attempt to paint an ugly gay scenerio) I would still ask the same question. I told him, I’m sorry If my questions were too personal… One thing led to another and he started talking about his facing financial difficulties, a method of trying to get me emotional and extort me, he claims he came from Lagos state and that he see’s a lot of potential in PH thats why he came, he stays with his friends and bla bla bla…I simply told him; “God will help him get money” and that was the end of our dicussion.
After that day, He stopped talking or smiling with me, we see regularly, but we dont stop to exchange pleasantries like we used t.
So on seeing him today, I smiled and said “Hello, He hasnt been around, did he travel”…He didnt give me and audible response which was quiet embarrassing, so I kept quiet and focused my attention on the Lady making sells, when she asked me, “What do you want to Buy?” and I was about responding, that was when uncle deemed it fit to reply me and his reply was;
“Are you Gay?”
And Out of the mixed feelings I had for his previous cold response, I said,
“What sort of stupid question is that? Gay or Not what gives you the right to rudely approach someone you barely know with such a silly question, that question is personal, I wonder why you had to ask me such despite seeing all the guys standing here, you choose to ask me?”
I did not know when I delivered a thousand response to a single question, I still found it offensive and he was like;
“Ahn ahn, You are my friend Now!”
“No! Not at all…You are not my friend, I am not your friend, I dont even know your name..Even if you take me as your friend, You wont ask me such a personal question that is capable of harming my social space in this environment, You dont do that to a friend.”
The Next thing he said, sparked my anger, he said;
“I have a pastoral calling, And the Holy spirit asked me to ask you s…”
I cut him right there, “The holy spirit didnt tell you shit, You should stop lying against the holy spirit, The holy spirit does not inspire foolishness, Yes I am quiet effeminate but that doesnt mean every effeminate guy you see around is gay, effeminacy is not mutually exclusive to any sexuality or gender, grow up from your out dated definition of straightness”
I was about leaving the shop, when I thought I should make it a conversation, I should shove right in his place, just like he tried to ridicul me in front of the other bystanders and passengers. Then I turned to ask him, “By the way, why did you ask me such a question?”
He responded; “Because you smile too much, Just like the brain needs food to function, your smile should have a reason because smiling for no reason makes you look foolish”
In my mind, I said “Oga you really need food, your brain is malnourished”. I was silent for a while when I asked him, “How does my smile relate with the subject matter?”
“The way you conduct yourself, you need to limit it?” he responded and I responded, “Why do I need to limit myself? Why is my code of conduct your problem? When was the first and last time I walked up to you and asked you If you were gay, straight or gay? the socalled manly guys around you can be gay too…why havent you questioned them? Why pick on me, Oga wait, you saw me with my phone, listening to music with my earpiece and going through my phone, Anything can make me smile, what makes you think its wrong to smile for no reason, since when did sadness because an attribute of positivity?”
And then I turned to the lady selling, “Even at my best in minding my business, being repeatedly called a snub for not smiling or chatting with anybody in my street, and now this Man feels I smile too much and should limit it, what does he want me to do”
she said, “Do what makes you happy and not what people thinks”
All these are the reasons that contribute to my rudeness, periodic numbness to human feeling and inability to love with all my heart, I am angry with the world, I have not had a single break, I fight with this kind of people daily, Homophobic slurs thrown at me, I have been battling the merciless brutally of this ugly scenerios from my 5yrs of Age, Dont you think its time Nigeria have mercy on me and give me a fucking break to enjoy this life? Huh?? Wtf!!!